A Breastfeeding Mothers’ Mind….

Breastfeeding mothers worry about EVERYTHING… their minds’ never sleep and can easily become overwhelmed with all the pressure to do it all. How do I know this? I was one {twice}.

In 2015 with the birth of my first son I put a lot of pressure on myself to be successful at breastfeeding. I had taken advantage of lactation help in the hospital and attended the breastfeeding classes while I was there for 5 days {post an unplanned C-section}. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to breastfeed AND recover from major abdominal surgery at home. I battled through milk blebs, sore nipples, exhaustion and anxiety for the first few weeks, but as my son and I worked together everyday got easier and once we were in a functional breastfeeding groove {by the first month or 2} the pressure I had put on myself to do everything, slowly diminished. I realized nothing else mattered. Feeding my baby and keeping him and myself healthy and happy were now my top priorities. Everything else could wait. The dishes didn’t have to be done everyday, the clean laundry could sit, unfolded, in the basket for a few more days, we didn’t have to say “yes” to every visitor or invitation.

How did I come to terms with all this….with the help of my village: My husband, my parents, my in-laws, other family members and my friends. I learned to lean on them when I needed them, ask for help when I needed it and say no to things when necessary. I leaned on my husband for a lot. He would wake up at night and change the baby before I breastfed him so I could have a few more minutes of sleep. Luckily he was able to be home with me for 2 weeks of paternity leave. Having a C-section limits what you can do in the first 2 weeks so having him at home was ideal. He would do the grocery shopping, the cooking, the laundry and all the other household chores. When he had to go back to work, I leaned on the other important people in my life.

In 2017, with the birth of my second son, I was more confident with breastfeeding and with taking care of my postpartum body BUT when he was diagnosed with jaundice {with 24hours of phototherapy} my breastfeeding confidence was slightly rattled. Although I had some confidence, my anxiety was higher knowing I had to feed-feed-feed, so he would poop more and pass the bilirubin through his stool. In the hospital I would breastfeed, put him back under the lights, and pump (to supplement his feeds) every 2 hours, it was exhausting! Once we arrived home I had to teach my body to stop overproducing and worked with a Lactation Specialist at our pediatrician’s office to get my supply under control. (After a few weeks at home my supply was stable and I didn’t have to pump again until I needed to go back to work. Phew!) Home was slightly different this time around; now I had to breastfeed a newborn AND take care of a 2 year old. Once again, home for 2 weeks, my husband came to the recue: He would take our 2 year old on errands whenever possible and created their own “special time” together and I would focus on the baby and healing. Once his paternity leave was over, we had to figure out a good system. I made sure my 2 year old was involved with every step of taking care of the new baby {so he felt included and not replaced}. He loved having jobs-he was an expert diaper and wipes retriever. He would sit with me while I would nurse and would gently pat his brother’s head. I made sure he was always within eyesight while I was feeding the baby because, you know, toddlers love getting into mischief when you’re not looking! I learned that being honest with my older son about my needs and the baby’s needs while respecting his needs and need for attention, we were able to work as a team and work in harmony. Were there times were I had no patience because I was sleep deprived? Of course there were. Did I cry when my 2 year old cried because I couldn’t play with him while his brother was throwing a fit? Yes, those days were rough. Did we eventually adapt to this new form of chaos and forget what life was ever like before we had kids? Yes, we did.

Remember: The first few weeks at home are overwhelming-you are trying to juggle everything and everyone in your life, feed and care for your new baby, all while your hormones are bouncing all over the place! Ask for help when you need it. Say no when you need to. Do what is right for you and your family. Remember you are not alone, I am here to help you navigate this new chapter.